Disability, Dating and Sexuality: Not Unhinged - George K.
Description:
My artifact is a dating app profile of someone living with a disability, in this case a traumatic brain injury. Dating can often be a complex and difficult process for people with disabilities, because there are many societal facets that inhibit their autonomy, freedom and sexual expression.
Significance:
I chose this artifact because it illustrates the nuanced nature of dating of someone living with a disability. For many, dating and having sex is normal, healthy part of being a human. However, people with disabilities are often shrouded in shame when this topic is raised. The taboo nature of this topic prohibits people with disabilities from comfortably exploring their sexuality in a safe space. Many do not perceive dating as an important aspect of a disabled persons life. Moreover, they do not believe people with disabilities have the capacity to explore their sexuality.
Mitchell and Tepper (2000) argue that pleasure is often disregarded within discourse about people with disabilities, perpetuating the narrative that people with disabilities are asexual and do not engage in dating and sexual activities. This can be attributed to a history of infantilising people with disabilities which weakens their sense of wellbeing and belonging.
This problematic viewpoint leaves people with disabilities feeling disempowered and strips them of their right to self-determination and feelings of empowerment. I chose this image as believe it will trigger a wider discourse about the intricacies of dating, disability, intersectionality and sexual pleasure.
Positionality:
I am interested in disability and sexuality because it was not a topic that was widely discussed when I was growing up. This class has allowed me to reflect critically on my own background, uncovering hidden biases that I had due to my own strict Christian upbringing. It has been a liberating journey for me to discover a new side of disability that I had previously ignored.
This journey has allowed me to apply a critical lens to disability and sexuality, uncovering the intersections of oppression even within disability studies. For instance, women of colour are often excluded from research and something like dating would be a larger barrier for certain groups facing multiple forms of discrimination (Bailey and Mobley 2018).
As a future social worker, my role will entail me to increase the autonomy of marginalised groups, not deprive them of their liberties. To prohibit someone from exploring their sexuality, whether that be from dating or being sexually active, is an infringement on their human rights. Moving forward, I hope I can be a more effective ally by actively discussing these topics more openly and address topics relating to sexuality and disability with more confidence.
Impact:
This project has impacted me positively as it has allowed me to delve deeper into a topic of discussion that I have previously not explored in depth. A major takeaway from this learning experience is that sexuality if often seen as a form of expression that able-bodied, heteronormative couples are permitted to explore. It has revealed to me that disability and sexuality can be perceived as a taboo topic because it deviates and transcends the notion of heteronormativity.
Santos and Santos (2017) explore this idea in detail as they convey that heterosexist attitudes often discount body types and ideals that do not align with traditional notions of sexuality. For this reason, people with disabilities are often alienated from experiencing sexual pleasure and satisfaction within their lives because on a societal level this is seen as abnormal behaviour which is a damaging sentiment.
Furthermore, I have learned how people with disabilities must often adapt to restrictive circumstances in their lives. Something as simple as dating requires many considerations such as over dealing with overprotective family members, the lack of privacy and limited access to sexual education (Turner and Crane 2016).
Wish List:
I hope this artifact inspires viewers to openly discuss these taboo topics and realise that people living with disabilities are equally as worthy of experiencing life in its fullest and purest form. I want people to realise that people with disabilities are sexual and require the same intimacy that every human yearns for. Kaufman et al. (2007) contest the notion that people living with disabilities are not sexual and that this rhetoric has arisen from the infantilisation of those living with disabilities.
I want people to understand that just because a person has a disability does not mean one lacks the desire to explore their sexuality openly and freely. I also hope that within my field of social work that sexuality becomes a more openly discussed topic so people living with disabilities have the agency to decide how they express their sexuality.
Lee, Fenge and Collins (2017) stress that sexual wellbeing is something that needs to be actively considered and encouraged through an understanding of the intersections between disability and sexuality. I seek to create a non-judgemental space as a future social worker I want people to feel safe discussing topics about sexual wellbeing.
Scholarship:
The overarching purpose of my artifact was to illustrate that disability can come in many forms and does not necessarily fit a single appearance; moving forward, disability and sexuality must be considered in all forms. Research about disability often exclude certain groups from conversations relating to disability and sexuality intersections of oppression must be considered to truly grasp what needs are not being met within this group (Bailey and Mobley 2018). Exploration of gender, race and ableism can be important catalysts for more robust discussions around disability.
The point of having a dating profile as an artifact is to allow people to realise that something already as intricate and complex as dating, becomes more challenging when someone is living with a disability. Able bodied people often do not consider how privileged they are in so many aspects of their lives; people living with disabilities will often have to meticulously plan their days opposed to someone who can act in accordance to how they feel on the day. Mazur (2022) examines how dating apps often promote ableist and heteronormative notions of dating that exclude or minimise disabled peoples dating experience. There is also a concern that if people state that they have a disability that they will be fetishised or discriminated against meaning many people are not transparent about their disabilities on dating apps. These are just a few issues that people with disabilities face in relation to dating and highlights how many aspects of their lives require the same amount of consideration.
2 Comments
This artefact is powerful to look at without texts because it focuses on 1 identification in the persons bio – their disability. This addresses how significant this identification is on dating apps and stands out to able-bodied individuals, who then allow their heteronormative and ableist views influence their way of interacting with the person with the disability – unless of course, they automatically swipe left. Your description adds to this powerful visual depiction of disability and sexuality by addressing taboos, oppression’s, and discrimination experienced by these individuals.
I appreciate the use of language you use in your text by addressing people with disabilities as people first before their disability. I also want to acknowledge the language in areas such as, “something as simple as dating…” has restrictions for people with disabilities. This is effective because anyone can read this and most likely be able to relate to it on either end of the stick. While an able-bodied person reading that it will make them reflective, this will be read by a person with a disability as empathetic. That is what I like about your artefact and text the most, it allows for both types of people to gain something from reading this piece.
Your hope for the social work industry to openly discuss the intersection of disability and sexuality can happen – you have already began contributing to that change just by becoming aware of your own biases on disability and sexuality. Thank you for showing courage in sharing your experience and personal development throughout the subject, it has reflected on you as an individual, a student, and professional. Thank you for sharing your galaxy!
I think this artifact is very powerful in advocating for people with disabilities. Especially when coming to topics like dating, the mindset nowadays seems to be providing a correct knowledge of love and a healthy relationship, but the social stigma of people with disability as ‘asexual’ (McRuer, 2011) or does not needing affectionate relationships is still pretty dominant. People with disability are then shaped to be less powerful in social status and that affects their voice in letting people know they would like to be loved aswell. Secondly, I think the highlight of dating apps is very ableist influenced is very spot on, when people with disabilities interact with this world it is unimaginably harder that able-bodied people could think of, and without acknowledging that and introducing dating apps to them could pose a very big risk when putting them into such a unsafe and uninformed space, creating more risk for the person to bear with when interacting with the already risky nature of dating someone.